Saturday 27 June 2015


They came after me again
 
There were three of them, I think
 
Stitch begged for me to use it, but I wouldn’t.
I was so tired that I barely felt the knife
 
And then there was blackness
 
The next thing I remember was being half conscious and fed something
 
When I was able to fight myself awake, I realized that I was on a bed with someone’s arm supporting me and some kind of thick soup being fed to me. I started to struggle, but I was held down and a hand was over my mouth to stop me from screaming.
 
“Shut the fuck up you idiot. We’re trying to help”
 
They let me go once I calmed down. 
 
I looked back and forth between them.  Fell looked somehow leaner and angry, while Hart just looked disappointed. Both looked tired and had a couple more scars since the last time I saw them.
 
“Where am I? Why did you bring me here?”
 
“You’re in a fucking shitheap motel while we fix your dumbass up”
 
“I don’t want your help! I wanted to die!”
 
“Well too bad!” Hart snapped “We’re not going to just sit here and let you kill yourself”
 
“It’s my choice-“
 
“Not any fucking more it’s not” Fell said, cutting me off
 
I asked if I could at least go to the bathroom. Hart frowned and walked me over there, making sure to block my path to the room door. Once in the bathroom, I locked the door and tried to figure out what to do. The bathroom had a tiny window over the filthy bathtub and I was midway through squeezing myself out of it when a hand grabbed me and pulled me back in. Fell unlocked the door and tossed me back into the room. I was suddenly aware of my wounds as I landed, but I got back up just in time for her to force me to face her
 
“Fucking really?! Did you think that we wouldn’t guess that you were going to try that shit?”
 
I felt my face go red in humiliation “Let me go!”
 
“No. You’re going to fucking stay here and rest and eat more of that vegetable puree that Hart worked hard to make for your ungrateful ass until you get some fucking sense and your fucking strength back!”
 
“Ungrateful? For what? For you kidnapping me and forcing me to do what a dead woman wa-“
 
I was cut off by a slap across the face that and a promise that if I said one more thing about KnitWolf, she would cut my tongue out. I could still live without that after all.
 
I made one more attempt to fight my way out of the room, but that only got me tied up. At which point I tried yelling for help and swearing at them until they gagged me
 
“Yup.” Hart sneered at my insults before he taped my mouth shut “We’re the bad guys, remember?”
 
But in his eyes, I could see that he was hurt
 
As much as I hated it, I tried to have Stitch free me, but it refused.
 
I’ve been stuck here for a few days. I try not to sleep, but it always comes. I try to resist the food, but they force me to take it. They aren’t keeping me tied up anymore, but they are always watching me, sleeping in shifts in case I try to run again. Fell agreed to let me log in and write this, but she’s watching me over my shoulder to make sure I don’t try anything else.
 
I don’t know how long they’re going to keep me here. I don’t know what will happen if their boss shows up.
 
Stitch is laughing at me
 
I don’t know what to do.

Sunday 21 June 2015

He’s back
 
I knew... I knew it was going to happen sooner or later
 
I knew I wouldn’t be lucky enough for him to get bored and leave me alone
 
Why are you here? Whatdoyouwant from me??
 
I’m just a stupid, tired, hungry kid with no family. You and KnitWolf and Father Brien took that from me, what else do you want?
 
If you want to kill me just get it over with! I’m tired of this.
 
I’m tired and Stitchwontshutup either Even though it’s not going to get what it wants! I’ve stopped using it even to escape, because Idon’twantto and every time I do, I feel it try to push forward in mymind  I’ve come this far-I’ve taken the wounds. I won’t turn back now.
 
Don’t tell me it’s hopeless! I already know. I see it whenever I lookatyou.
 
I’msinking and I feel dead
 
Justletmebedead.
 
Please