I’m still trying to figure out what to do. Part of me says I should leave the next time we head out for supplies. I know Fell only sees Father Brien and the others when she looks at me. Maybe it’s for the best. But on the other hand, Stitch says I’m where I need to be right now. It’s quieter here. Happier. I don’t know if I should listen to it but it wasn’t lying to me before and it is nice to have that little bit of peace in my head.
Hart is training me while I’m here which is making me feel useful and keeps me from replaying what happened with Father Brien and the others in my mind while I’m awake. I keep thinking that I should have yelled and screamed and kicked every time my parents tried to bring me to that church, maybe then they would have given up and we could have gone to another one at least, maybe avoid all this. They can’t all be like this but maybe they are. If not then maybe I could have convinced Lacey. Or after Stitch started talking to me I should have grabbed some of the others and dragged them out. Save someone at least. Stitch says they couldn’t be saved. Stitch says it wasn’t my fault what happened to them. Stitch is being nice. Hart is being nice. Father Brien was being nice up until he locked me away and tried to kill me- I know I would have died if KnitWolf hadn’t been there - and he was like a father to me after he got my family killed. No maybe that’s wrong. I believed the lie too but I was wrong, so maybe it was the same for him.